Going Solo: Single Parenthood

You Were Always There

Dear Isabella,

Today you are 24 days old. I still can’t believe you are finally here and are no longer a belly bump. I have been thinking a lot about that moment when we met and I want to write it down before I forget.

When the doctor lifted you up and put you on my chest, we looked into each other’s eyes and I felt like I already knew you. You looked exactly like I had imagined. You had black hair, my nose, and your father’s eyes. I couldn’t get over how very familiar you were to me. You were and are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

A friend of mine told me that she can’t remember life before her daughter was born. For me, it’s more like I can’t remember you not being there with me all this time. Standing in front of the Taj Mahal that balmy Indian afternoon, you were there with me. Flying across the Kenyan countryside dodging giraffes and monkeys in a Land Rover in search of a lion, you were there. You were there with me in the crystal blue waters of Puerto Rico and the crisp chilly waters of the Alaskan shoreline. You climbed Mount Helena and danced to the Jazz pumping through the streets of New Orleans. In Guatemala and Nicaragua, you saw the beauty and joy in the eyes of the children in the slums. Every moment, every adventure in my life, you were there. I felt you with me. I just didn’t know till now that it was you.

Isabella, my life has been free and full of excitement since I was born. I have been lucky and blessed to have incredible opportunities fall in my lap. When I found out you were coming, there was a selfish part of me that almost gave you up. I thought my adventures and freedom would be over. Now, after carrying you for almost 43 weeks, and caring for you for almost a month, I’m glad the selfish side of me lost. I looked at your eyes this morning and realized that you ARE the next adventure in my life. All of my searching, all of my waiting, brought me here to you. You are the greatest and best journey I will ever go on. The coolest part is that we’ve only just begun. Personally I can’t wait to see where this whole mother/daughter thing takes us.

I Love You!
~Mom

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